First it is extremely important to get crystal clear about what it is you don’t want. Bad Example:  I don’t want to be single. Good Example: I don’t want to feel lonely any more.  I don’t want to feel unwanted or hopeless. I don’t want to feel like I’m not good enough. I don’t want to feel disappointment or rejection.  I don’t want to feel pessimistic. I don’t want to feel like the bourdons of life are all on my shoulders. I don’t want to feel defeated. I don’t want […]

Why is understanding Oneness important to your personal development? If you don’t, you might plunge down into victimhood. And you know what that attracts! If you don’t, you might blame other people, and thus attract and create the same cycles in your life, over and over again! If you don’t understand that we are all one, you might project your junk onto other people and make them dislike being around you, because they feel attacked. The only thing that creates is more people just like them, until you learn your […]

Can you imagine how many arguments would be thwarted if, when we got triggered, the first words out of our mouths would be, “I notice I am feeling triggered. I’m going to withdraw for a few minutes so I can analyze what I am afraid of. I love you. I’m on your team.” This statement is a recognition of the fact that any time we get triggered, the other person is NOT to blame, but is in fact, being acted upon by the energy inside us. So, WE radiate energy […]

When we get stuck in a trigger, I have learned that there are three questions we can ask ourselves that can unlock us from that trigger. The first thing out of our mouths when we are talking with someone else, and then get triggered, in their presence, is to say, “I’m feeling triggered. I will look at what is causing me to get triggered. So, right now, I’m going to remove myself and go get some clarity.” That way, we’re not blaming them, and projecting that there is somehow something […]

A student asked me to clarify why some of the personal development principles seem to be contradictory. For example, we are supposed to set goals, we are supposed to feel them like we already have them, then we are supposed to let them go. But if we let them go, then how are we focusing on them so that we can create them? Also, some spiritual traditions and teachers teach that “it is already done; our success is guaranteed; we need to do nothing.” Why do we even try to […]