First it is extremely important to get crystal clear about what it is you don’t want.
Bad Example: I don’t want to be single.
Good Example: I don’t want to feel lonely any more. I don’t want to feel unwanted or hopeless. I don’t want to feel like I’m not good enough. I don’t want to feel disappointment or rejection. I don’t want to feel pessimistic. I don’t want to feel like the bourdons of life are all on my shoulders. I don’t want to feel defeated. I don’t want to feel stress or anxiety any more.
What I really don’t want to feel is Loneliness, Hopelessness, Undeserving, Disappointment, Pessimistic, Rejection, Overburdened, Defeated, Stressed, and Anxiety.
In the “Good Example” above, it’s obvious the emphasis is on feelings or emotions. Why is this so important? In detailing out the emotions that are driving our “don’t wants”, we are clarifying what we really don’t want.
For example what if we find someone that seems to “fit the bill” but later we end up still feeling unwanted or rejection in some way. We might find this situation is a familiar experience and are now worse off than before because there is now a lot of unwanted drama to deal with.
Now I can narrow this down to the 2 or 3 most representative of what I don’t want to feel any more. Maybe it’s Loneliness, Pessimistic and Stressed.
So now that you are clear about what you really don’t want and the emotional driver behind it, we have something very specific to starve.
Now how do I starve what I don’t want?
What does starve mean? Don’t feed it. Remember feeling is feeding. Observing is a great antidote to feeling what you don’t want. The difference in observing is I am much less identified with what I am observing.
Notice the difference in the 2 following statements. I am lonely vs. I am observing the feeling of loneliness. I know it sounds a little awkward but when you’re observing you typically are not explaining to anyone what you are observing. So when you are practicing you can immediately notice the difference between feeling lonely and observing the feeling of lonely. The major difference here is you are present in the observation whereas when you are being lonely you’re not present, you’re somewhere in the mind.
In my 3 step clearing the second step is noticing the location and the characteristics of the emotion. This noticing is equivalent to looking at the roots of a weed freshly pulled. When you are holding up the weed, looking at its roots, it definitely cannot continue to grow because it has been removed from its foundation. As we observe the emotion it cannot continue to grow because we are observing from a state of presence. Our blocks can only sustain themselves in our absence, or in other words when we are identified with them and not observing them.
Here is the 3 step clearing for any wanting it.
Feeding what you want is easy; the emphasis is placed on starving what you don’t want with your thoughts and feelings. Your habitual state of consciousness is the number one factor influencing your personal experiences.
Check in 10+ times a day with the Question “How do I feel right now?”
You can use a reminder app on your phone, an alarm on your phone, sticky notes placed in random places, paint one fingernail different from the rest, wear your watch on the opposite arm, or put a bandage on your finger. Every time this catches your attention ask yourself, “How do I feel right now?” If there is only positive feelings then just say to your Self “thank you for checking in, I love you, I love you, I love you.”
If there is ANY kind of negativity, it is false, based on interpretation and is simply an old program running and it’s time to do the following 3 steps:
- These Specific Words – There it is; that’s not me; that’s a program.
- Observe it deeply – What physical and emotional sensations do I feel? Where do I feel them? Or simply I feel it (here), it feels like (this). Realize who is doing this inquiring?
- Thank You, I love you I love you I love you- Thank you for no longer feeding the program, Thank you for dis-identifying from the falsehood, thank you for catching yourself and no longer losing energy here. I love you I love you I love you!
There it is. That’s not me. That’s a program.
I feel it (here), it feels like (this).
Thank you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
These steps are not for the purpose of getting rid of the negative feeling, i.e. resisting and therefore feeding what we don’t want. That benefit may sometimes come with it but this practice is more about implementing a new habit. So every time you observe the emotion it is an opportunity to do this practice without judgment. When this becomes habit you will have successfully reprogrammed the unconscious perpetuation of the old reaction with the automatic newly programmed conscious response.
It takes less than 30 seconds to do this practice. 30 seconds at 10x a day = 5 minutes
How many days will it take before this healthy response has become a new program for you?
Thank you to everyone who participated tonight!
– Namaste
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