By Dr. Janeen J. Detrick
This script can be applied to both men and women.
I used to believe that any man I loved would not be emotionally available to me and would be unreliable. My father was not a very good provider, and he often spent money on himself when his children were in need. He would also sit alone in his study, and he preferred his books and music to people. If I wanted his love and attention I had to go and get them. He was not a good communicator. I felt I was unworthy of his affection. In later life I found myself repeating a pattern of being most attracted to men who were like him in many ways, particularly in their emotional unavailability and distance, their lack of emotional depth, their need to be alone, and their financial unreliability. I interpreted their distance to mean I was unworthy of their love.
I completely forgive my father; he feared both emotions and people, and he therefore chose to retreat from the world. He could not give me what he didn’t have, even for himself. He was depressed because he felt powerless to change his life, and he did not know the laws of the universe. He thought life happened to him. And I completely forgive myself for believing I would always be attracted to emotionally unavailable, unreliable men; I was only a child doing her best to interpret the world when I formed this belief.
I now realize that I am loveable, attractive, and that I am completely worthy of committed, engaged, emotionally available, and reliable male love. I now realize that there is no flaw in me, and that I can truly love a man who will desire to participate fully in my life and who will love me deeply just as I am. He will want to be around me, to communicate about his emotions and spiritual life. He will be responsible financially, and he will be aware of and receptive to my needs and longings as I will be to his. He will want to spend time with me. I now know that I CAN have such a man in my life!
I completely love and accept myself even though I have held onto this belief for as long as I can remember. I forgive myself for not having learned that I can have a reliable, available, and completely attractive man in my life earlier on.
I am so proud of myself for realizing that my true love is available! I am so proud of myself for realizing that he is reliable, and that I am totally worthy of his love, companionship, and kindred spirituality. I know now that I am worthy of perfect, involved, engaged love from a responsible man.
Thank you, Self, for forgiving me for not having learned to love myself fully sooner. I love you, Self. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. I love you.
It is done.
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