The Six Attributes of How Love Acts

Part one

Love is not an emotion! It becomes an emotion after it is applied as a verb. Think about it; All the great spiritual teachers have commanded us to LOVE (for our own good!) Can you command someone to have a feeling? Of course not! So, they were not commanding us to have a feeling; They were commanding us to “commit” an action, a verb. It may also be important to note that “commanding” us is just a way of strongly encouraging us to do something, because doing it will bring so much healing and peace and joy into our lives!

Then, extending that love to others, and to ourselves, a feeling begins to well up within you that feels great! Love, then is something that you DO.

So, how do you know when you are being loving? How does love, the verb, act?
The benefits to us of extending love, the verb, to ourselves and also to others seems obvious, but let me summarize its benefits by saying that the vibrational frequency of love is the vibration upon which ALL CREATION, building UP, is built! Love is the vibration that triggers the release of healing in our bodies, and in other people’s bodies, as we extend it to them. Love is the vibration that stimulates the elements to move, and thus aggregation takes place, and thus new land masses and new planets and new everything is built! LOVE fixes everything, fills voids, creates new things, performs healings, and in short, is the most important thing there is!

There are six attributes to how love acts. This article attempts to summarize them, so you can begin to better apply them in your life!

1. Kindness. I am convinced that this is a key to loving! If you are currently messing up the rest of the attributes, if you are practicing kindness, at least it buys you time to develop the rest! Kindness is at its best when we don’t have to stop to think about it! If we can only be kind to people who are kind to us, then is that even kindness at all? Isn’t that just reciprocation?

True kindness is when we can see the need to be loved within someone’s inner most Being, even when they have no current capacity to show kindness in return. How kind are you? Do you snap at the clerk in a long, slow line? Do you recognize when someone else’s panic drives them to cut their car in front of you, that maybe they really are needing to get there faster than you are? Do you get annoyed at people who aren’t currently meeting your expectations? (P.S. Expectations are attachment to outcome, and are always out of the moment!) Speaking kindly even to people you are trying to forgive is a first step in freeing yourself to forgive them! When you must reject an idea, do it with kindness! Kindness changes people.

2. Patience. The definition I hold of patience is “The allowing of other people’s processes, AND of your own.” Patience is accepting that everyone is at a different place is their growth and progression, and releasing YOUR ATTACHMENT to them being a certain way, or your attachment to expectations. Note: Attachment is the “demon” of the seventh chakra, where you receive inspiration! Notice that impatience is also an out of the moment thought, because if you were in the moment, loving what is, you would be able to be happy right now with it the way it is! Get in the moment, allowing people, including yourself, to grow at whatever pace they are, and you will be patient.

What would your relationships be like if you treated everyone, including yourself, as a person in process, rather than like a machine that performs? What if you listened to them long enough to understand what they were thinking and feeling, without rebutting? What if you were so respectful of their process of growth that you actually were reverent toward the divinity within them, even if it isn’t like you? What if you focused on finding solutions rather than finding someone or something to blame? Adopt these thoughts as beliefs: People are not machines. People do not work according to my priorities. People are always in process, and I encourage them in their process, their way!

3. Forgiveness. In forgiving, we find freedom from the grip of anger. In forgiving, we are GIVING (giving mercy), and you know what happens when we give? The Divine is now going to give back to us! If you forgive someone a financial debt they can’t or just aren’t paying, you are now in a state of giving, so the Divine is now your debtor! Ha! Yippee!! And the Divine is always faithful! In forgiving, we find freedom from the resistance stored in every cell in our body that acts like a barrier to our receiving our own abundance. If we can only forgive people who ask for our forgiveness, then are we extending anything at all? Or are we then merely accepting the fruit of their growth process? They, then, are the “stronger” ones, not us! But if we forgive those who have not asked, we are cancelling the energy inside ourselves of debt we think we are owned, and thus freeing ourselves from the negative energy that would have come back to us if we had held onto it! It does not energetically remove the consequences from THEM, BECAUSE THE ENERGY INSIDE THEM THAT MADE THEM DO IT IS STILL INSIDE THEM! But it does free us from the negative energy coming back to us. We forgive so that WE can be free of that energy. But remember something: if you are wishing something bad would happen to them, that is not forgiveness at all, because that thought will bring to YOU the bad things you are wishing upon them. We also need to forgive the little daily annoyances, not only the big things.

How forgiving are you? When someone wrongs you, or so you think, are you most likely to stop speaking to them until they apologize? Will you stuff the energy inside you, and move on? Will you confront the person with your feelings? Remember, your response, of being hurt or offended, is the “hook” that was inside you. Is it really always something that they need to be confronted about? Maybe sometimes, but always? How do you respond when the memory of someone who hurt or offended you comes to mind? Do you continue to cringe? Do you reprimand yourself for that response, not forgiving yourself?

The Six Attributes of How Love Acts
By Janeen J. Detrick
Part Two

Forgiveness, continued:
Realize that forgiveness is clearing the energy inside you that chooses to see it as having been something bad that happened. THAT is forgiveness! Radical forgiveness!
Choose to see that NOTHING BAD HAPPENED, because there was some energy inside you that NEEDED the lesson of it!

Please note that forgiving someone does NOT mean that you have to choose to be around that person. It also does not necessarily come quickly, so just allow yourself time to gain a new perspective about the event, and love yourself, too. Also, forgiveness does NOT necessarily remove the consequences of the event. And forgiveness does not necessarily immediately restore trust. Remember that forgiveness is about you neutralizing the belief that something bad happened to you, so it is about YOUR RESPONSE, not about what they did.

Also realize that if you are requiring that they apologize before you will forgive, then that is not forgiveness at all! In that case, they have humbled themselves, learned their lesson before you did, and they then earned your forgiveness! If they earned it, you did not have to give anything; You paid them their just due. This is why the Bible says that the one who does not forgive is guilty of the “greater sin”; The other person learned … and you did not. Forgiveness means to “give forbearance”. If you don’t offer it, or if you make them earn it, you are not giving at all! But if you do give forbearance, then you posture yourself to receive back whatever had been “taken from” you, directly from the Universe, from any number of sources! When you forgive, you make GOD your debtor!

4. Humility. First, I will say here that humility is NOT being unaware of your amazing attributes! So many people have accepted the definition of humility that includes the Bernard Meltzer quote, “The moment you think you have acquired humility, is just the moment that you have lost it!” I DO NOT AGREE WITH THAT QUOTE. Here’s why:

The apostle Paul said he was the most humble apostle of Jesus Christ. He knew he was humble! And then he went on to list many attributes that gave himself superior qualifications! Moses said about himself that he was a humble man. So what is humility? Humility is the ability to be TEACHABLE! A person who is the opposite of humble is someone who is prideful, which means to not be teachable. When you cannot be taught by other people, it indicates that you do not RESPECT THE DIVINITY WITHIN OTHERS, that you do not have the ability to learn through others. So, then, humility is NOT false self degradation, but rather, the recognition not only of your own great qualities, but also the recognition of great qualities within others, from whom you can learn! Humility is then, the recognition that no matter how much you have learned and attained, you can always learn something of value from any and all other Beings! It is the recognition of great qualities in others, and the willingness to listen to them, and honor what they have to teach you. So, if a person is prideful, they are NOT willing to learn from people, because they believe themselves to be superior to them. Humble people, no matter how highly accomplished, CAN learn from everyone and CAN see the good qualities in everyone! So…Be humble; Be Teachable! This is a very loving way to be, which brings out the best in everyone around you, as you seek to learn what they have to teach! If you are humble, it manifests itself in the desire to listen to the perspective that other people have, rather than just have a “knee jerk” reaction to their disagreement with YOUR perspective. Pride thinks One’s own way of thinking is better than someone else’s way of thinking….without even listening to their way of thinking! That is disrespect for them.

5. Honesty. First, let’s discuss what honesty IS NOT. Honesty does not mean that you have to verbalize all your emotions! Sometimes, the need to do that is actually selfish manipulation, an attempt to coerce people to do what we want or to change to be like us. Honesty is not making an excuse so you can be unloving! Honesty is not telling secrets that discredit other people. Spreading bad news is never a loving act! It makes it more difficult for the person who was gossiped about to improve their lives, and we have no right to sabotage someone else’s eternal progression! Being honest also does not mean that we have permission to give away information that would jeopardize someone else’s safety, or happiness. So what IS honesty? No matter what is going on inside us right now, somewhere deep inside us, we know that honesty builds up, and falsehood and deceitfulness destroys. Honesty is a foundation for living a life of integrity. Honesty requires that we lovingly examine our own motives and weaknesses, and choose to work on them! Honesty always keeps promises and commitments made, or does not make them. If it is necessary to break a promise or a commitment, the honest person will own it, and willingly explain what happened to the victim of the breech. An honest person is willing to take risks for the sake of truth that builds up and edifies. It does not mean telling a wife that you know her husband is cheating, because this does not edify, but it does mean going to the cheater and lovingly explaining that you know he is cheating; THIS risk can be a very healing thing to do, as the cheater may choose to find a solution instead of just applying a band aid to the problem. An honest person recognizes that they will have to earn trust back, allowing the time for trust to be rebuilt in the event they have committed a breech. What would your relationships be like if you started honestly admitting your failures, instead of trying to hide them?

6. Generosity. Being generous includes giving of yourself emotionally, giving of your time, giving of your abilities, money, and also compassion (which is NOT to be confused with co-dependant enabling, but only helping someone when they have exemplified a change and are asking for a hand up!) The most important things may not be the most urgent things! Will your grandma continue to live even if you don’t go visit or call or write? Yes, but imagine the impact it would make if you were generous with your time, and you did that? Generosity does not mean that you give to your children (or anyone else!) everything they ask for! That may not be good for them. Again, differentiate between co-dependant enabling, and helping someone when they have exemplified a change and are asking for a hand up! However, sometimes people have a tendency to say “no” for their own benefit, not the loving benefit of the person they are considering giving to. Giving of your abilities means that not only will you volunteer to help people, free of charge, but you will also happily perform the tasks for which you are being paid. No matter what you currently do to receive money, you can make it an expression of love by doing it with a happy attitude.

Generosity does mean that you desire for everyone to have abundance in their lives; Not just you! When you are generous, you happily…note that…..HAPPILY pay your bills, because of the benefit those items you are paying for have brought into your life. When you are generous, you are not trying to squeak even more discounts out of people for their goods and services; You are happy to pay them well! Being generous also includes giving without expecting anything back…..Now, please understand that what that means is that you won’t get anything back FROM THAT SOURCE. However, it is impossible to “outgive” the Divine! Every time you give, no matter what you are giving, you are definitely going to get it back from the divine, and…with interest! It’s fun to decide to be so generous that you are in a “giving competition” with the Divine!

Let’s develop the character traits of LOVE, and lift and elevate society, shall we?

By Janeen J. Detrick
Part one

Love is not an emotion! It becomes an emotion after it is applied as a verb. Think about it; All the great spiritual teachers have commanded us to LOVE (for our own good!) Can you command someone to have a feeling? Of course not! So, they were not commanding us to have a feeling; They were commanding us to “commit” an action, a verb. It may also be important to note that “commanding” us is just a way of strongly encouraging us to do something, because doing it will bring so much healing and peace and joy into our lives!

Then, extending that love to others, and to ourselves, a feeling begins to well up within you that feels great! Love, then is something that you DO.

So, how do you know when you are being loving? How does love, the verb, act?
The benefits to us of extending love, the verb, to ourselves and also to others seems obvious, but let me summarize its benefits by saying that the vibrational frequency of love is the vibration upon which ALL CREATION, building UP, is built! Love is the vibration that triggers the release of healing in our bodies, and in other people’s bodies, as we extend it to them. Love is the vibration that stimulates the elements to move, and thus aggregation takes place, and thus new land masses and new planets and new everything is built! LOVE fixes everything, fills voids, creates new things, performs healings, and in short, is the most important thing there is!

There are six attributes to how love acts. This article attempts to summarize them, so you can begin to better apply them in your life!

1. Kindness. I am convinced that this is a key to loving! If you are currently messing up the rest of the attributes, if you are practicing kindness, at least it buys you time to develop the rest! Kindness is at its best when we don’t have to stop to think about it! If we can only be kind to people who are kind to us, then is that even kindness at all? Isn’t that just reciprocation?

True kindness is when we can see the need to be loved within someone’s inner most Being, even when they have no current capacity to show kindness in return. How kind are you? Do you snap at the clerk in a long, slow line? Do you recognize when someone else’s panic drives them to cut their car in front of you, that maybe they really are needing to get there faster than you are? Do you get annoyed at people who aren’t currently meeting your expectations? (P.S. Expectations are attachment to outcome, and are always out of the moment!) Speaking kindly even to people you are trying to forgive is a first step in freeing yourself to forgive them! When you must reject an idea, do it with kindness! Kindness changes people.

2. Patience. The definition I hold of patience is “The allowing of other people’s processes, AND of your own.” Patience is accepting that everyone is at a different place is their growth and progression, and releasing YOUR ATTACHMENT to them being a certain way, or your attachment to expectations. Note: Attachment is the “demon” of the seventh chakra, where you receive inspiration! Notice that impatience is also an out of the moment thought, because if you were in the moment, loving what is, you would be able to be happy right now with it the way it is! Get in the moment, allowing people, including yourself, to grow at whatever pace they are, and you will be patient.

What would your relationships be like if you treated everyone, including yourself, as a person in process, rather than like a machine that performs? What if you listened to them long enough to understand what they were thinking and feeling, without rebutting? What if you were so respectful of their process of growth that you actually were reverent toward the divinity within them, even if it isn’t like you? What if you focused on finding solutions rather than finding someone or something to blame? Adopt these thoughts as beliefs: People are not machines. People do not work according to my priorities. People are always in process, and I encourage them in their process, their way!

3. Forgiveness. In forgiving, we find freedom from the grip of anger. In forgiving, we are GIVING (giving mercy), and you know what happens when we give? The Divine is now going to give back to us! If you forgive someone a financial debt they can’t or just aren’t paying, you are now in a state of giving, so the Divine is now your debtor! Ha! Yippee!! And the Divine is always faithful! In forgiving, we find freedom from the resistance stored in every cell in our body that acts like a barrier to our receiving our own abundance. If we can only forgive people who ask for our forgiveness, then are we extending anything at all? Or are we then merely accepting the fruit of their growth process? They, then, are the “stronger” ones, not us! But if we forgive those who have not asked, we are cancelling the energy inside ourselves of debt we think we are owned, and thus freeing ourselves from the negative energy that would have come back to us if we had held onto it! It does not energetically remove the consequences from THEM, BECAUSE THE ENERGY INSIDE THEM THAT MADE THEM DO IT IS STILL INSIDE THEM! But it does free us from the negative energy coming back to us. We forgive so that WE can be free of that energy. But remember something: if you are wishing something bad would happen to them, that is not forgiveness at all, because that thought will bring to YOU the bad things you are wishing upon them. We also need to forgive the little daily annoyances, not only the big things.

How forgiving are you? When someone wrongs you, or so you think, are you most likely to stop speaking to them until they apologize? Will you stuff the energy inside you, and move on? Will you confront the person with your feelings? Remember, your response, of being hurt or offended, is the “hook” that was inside you. Is it really always something that they need to be confronted about? Maybe sometimes, but always? How do you respond when the memory of someone who hurt or offended you comes to mind? Do you continue to cringe? Do you reprimand yourself for that response, not forgiving yourself?

The Six Attributes of How Love Acts
By Janeen J. Detrick
Part Two

Forgiveness, continued:
Realize that forgiveness is clearing the energy inside you that chooses to see it as having been something bad that happened. THAT is forgiveness! Radical forgiveness!
Choose to see that NOTHING BAD HAPPENED, because there was some energy inside you that NEEDED the lesson of it!

Please note that forgiving someone does NOT mean that you have to choose to be around that person. It also does not necessarily come quickly, so just allow yourself time to gain a new perspective about the event, and love yourself, too. Also, forgiveness does NOT necessarily remove the consequences of the event. And forgiveness does not necessarily immediately restore trust. Remember that forgiveness is about you neutralizing the belief that something bad happened to you, so it is about YOUR RESPONSE, not about what they did.

Also realize that if you are requiring that they apologize before you will forgive, then that is not forgiveness at all! In that case, they have humbled themselves, learned their lesson before you did, and they then earned your forgiveness! If they earned it, you did not have to give anything; You paid them their just due. This is why the Bible says that the one who does not forgive is guilty of the “greater sin”; The other person learned … and you did not. Forgiveness means to “give forbearance”. If you don’t offer it, or if you make them earn it, you are not giving at all! But if you do give forbearance, then you posture yourself to receive back whatever had been “taken from” you, directly from the Universe, from any number of sources! When you forgive, you make GOD your debtor!

4. Humility. First, I will say here that humility is NOT being unaware of your amazing attributes! So many people have accepted the definition of humility that includes the Bernard Meltzer quote, “The moment you think you have acquired humility, is just the moment that you have lost it!” I DO NOT AGREE WITH THAT QUOTE. Here’s why:

The apostle Paul said he was the most humble apostle of Jesus Christ. He knew he was humble! And then he went on to list many attributes that gave himself superior qualifications! Moses said about himself that he was a humble man. So what is humility? Humility is the ability to be TEACHABLE! A person who is the opposite of humble is someone who is prideful, which means to not be teachable. When you cannot be taught by other people, it indicates that you do not RESPECT THE DIVINITY WITHIN OTHERS, that you do not have the ability to learn through others. So, then, humility is NOT false self degradation, but rather, the recognition not only of your own great qualities, but also the recognition of great qualities within others, from whom you can learn! Humility is then, the recognition that no matter how much you have learned and attained, you can always learn something of value from any and all other Beings! It is the recognition of great qualities in others, and the willingness to listen to them, and honor what they have to teach you. So, if a person is prideful, they are NOT willing to learn from people, because they believe themselves to be superior to them. Humble people, no matter how highly accomplished, CAN learn from everyone and CAN see the good qualities in everyone! So…Be humble; Be Teachable! This is a very loving way to be, which brings out the best in everyone around you, as you seek to learn what they have to teach! If you are humble, it manifests itself in the desire to listen to the perspective that other people have, rather than just have a “knee jerk” reaction to their disagreement with YOUR perspective. Pride thinks One’s own way of thinking is better than someone else’s way of thinking….without even listening to their way of thinking! That is disrespect for them.

5. Honesty. First, let’s discuss what honesty IS NOT. Honesty does not mean that you have to verbalize all your emotions! Sometimes, the need to do that is actually selfish manipulation, an attempt to coerce people to do what we want or to change to be like us. Honesty is not making an excuse so you can be unloving! Honesty is not telling secrets that discredit other people. Spreading bad news is never a loving act! It makes it more difficult for the person who was gossiped about to improve their lives, and we have no right to sabotage someone else’s eternal progression! Being honest also does not mean that we have permission to give away information that would jeopardize someone else’s safety, or happiness. So what IS honesty? No matter what is going on inside us right now, somewhere deep inside us, we know that honesty builds up, and falsehood and deceitfulness destroys. Honesty is a foundation for living a life of integrity. Honesty requires that we lovingly examine our own motives and weaknesses, and choose to work on them! Honesty always keeps promises and commitments made, or does not make them. If it is necessary to break a promise or a commitment, the honest person will own it, and willingly explain what happened to the victim of the breech. An honest person is willing to take risks for the sake of truth that builds up and edifies. It does not mean telling a wife that you know her husband is cheating, because this does not edify, but it does mean going to the cheater and lovingly explaining that you know he is cheating; THIS risk can be a very healing thing to do, as the cheater may choose to find a solution instead of just applying a band aid to the problem. An honest person recognizes that they will have to earn trust back, allowing the time for trust to be rebuilt in the event they have committed a breech. What would your relationships be like if you started honestly admitting your failures, instead of trying to hide them?

6. Generosity. Being generous includes giving of yourself emotionally, giving of your time, giving of your abilities, money, and also compassion (which is NOT to be confused with co-dependant enabling, but only helping someone when they have exemplified a change and are asking for a hand up!) The most important things may not be the most urgent things! Will your grandma continue to live even if you don’t go visit or call or write? Yes, but imagine the impact it would make if you were generous with your time, and you did that? Generosity does not mean that you give to your children (or anyone else!) everything they ask for! That may not be good for them. Again, differentiate between co-dependant enabling, and helping someone when they have exemplified a change and are asking for a hand up! However, sometimes people have a tendency to say “no” for their own benefit, not the loving benefit of the person they are considering giving to. Giving of your abilities means that not only will you volunteer to help people, free of charge, but you will also happily perform the tasks for which you are being paid. No matter what you currently do to receive money, you can make it an expression of love by doing it with a happy attitude.

Generosity does mean that you desire for everyone to have abundance in their lives; Not just you! When you are generous, you happily…note that…..HAPPILY pay your bills, because of the benefit those items you are paying for have brought into your life. When you are generous, you are not trying to squeak even more discounts out of people for their goods and services; You are happy to pay them well! Being generous also includes giving without expecting anything back…..Now, please understand that what that means is that you won’t get anything back FROM THAT SOURCE. However, it is impossible to “outgive” the Divine! Every time you give, no matter what you are giving, you are definitely going to get it back from the divine, and…with interest! It’s fun to decide to be so generous that you are in a “giving competition” with the Divine!

Let’s develop the character traits of LOVE, and lift and elevate society, shall we?

By Janeen J. Detrick