By Janeen J. Detrick
1. Release the expectation of perfection (whatever that is, anyway!), and embrace PROCESS.
Isn’t it actually really okay that you have things you need to learn? Release the belief that you are not valuable unless you are PRODUCTIVE! I have a 26 year old step-daughter named Jennilee who is permanently going on eight years old. She will never accomplish much! Is she of no value? Jennilee has eternal reasons why she chose, from her pre-existent state, whatever that was, to be born into a disabled body! I don’t know what they were, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it had something to do with teaching the rest of us this exact principle!
Assignment: Write a list of everything about yourself that you have been judging as “bad”.
It might sound like:
1. I have crooked legs.
2. I have knobby knees.
3. I never passed my Bar exam.
4. I am horrible at math.
5. I get anxious about public speaking.
6. I cry too easily.
7. I had an abortion.
8. I paid for my girlfriend’s abortion.
9. I am gay.
10. I am fat.
11. I lost money in the stock market.
12. My company fired me.
13. I don’t “fit in” with my family.
Go ahead…..MAKE YOUR LIST!
Then, take yourself through an “allowing script” on each one, saying the allowing phrase three times for each item on your list.
One at a time, say, “I allow myself to…(have the experience of)…(be…)…………(fill in the blank), and I love myself even though I have this (or did this).
Remember, three times per each item!
Pushing against it only exacerbates your anxiety against yourself, and imbeds the negative energy of self hatred attack energy inside your cells! Accept and allow yourself to be in process about that thing!
2. Remember that no experience is “bad”; They just create CONTRAST!! And without contrast, you can never know joy!
Joy would cease to be “joy” and would start to just feel “normal”….and get boring!
3. Remember the principle of “Oneness”. Do you realize that every time you judge yourself, and think mean thoughts against yourself, you are adding strings of energy into the mind field of anger and hatred? Have you ever realized that that may be reason why we don’t yet have world peace? I wonder how many people I made commit murder by ruminating on and emoting about all my self attack thoughts! LOVE YOURSELF!! That way, you can help the prisons not be overcrowded!
4. I would say that you should forgive yourself, except the real truth is that you don’t even have anything to forgive yourself for! The process you are in is exactly the process that you choose before you ever came here to this life, as you knew exactly what trials would help you learn the principles that you knew your eternal self needed to learn! So…None of your decisions were “bad”: They were the process you needed to learn what you needed to learn!
5. Now that you have ACCEPTED what you are not, focus on what you ARE, rather than on what you are NOT! Assignment: Now, write a list of at least 50 qualities that you like about yourself!
It may sound like….
1. I have pretty hair.
2. My fingers are long and pretty!
3. I am a good listener.
4. I am a loyal friend.
5. I have excellent follow through skills.
6. I am humble and teachable.
7. I am good with computers.
8. I am good at loving people who are “down on their luck”.
9. I am open minded, and respect all religions; Not jaded.
10. I am a good conversationalist, one on one.
11. I am a quick reader.
12. I am very healthy.
13. I am a good writer.
14. I am a loyal daughter/son.
15. I give my best to my employer.
16. I have a positive attitude.
17. I focus on solutions at work, not on problems.
Okay….Now, you get the idea! GO, WRITE YOUR LIST!
6. Self Esteem is based on listening to the promptings of your HIGHER SELF. When you have dismissed the promptings of your higher self (“That won’t work….” “I’m not smart enough…”), you are eroding your self esteem; In affect, you are saying, “I do not value my higher self, highly”. Therefore, your next assignment is to WRITE A LIST OF EVERY PROMPTING (INSPIRED ACTION STEP) YOU HAVE HAD THAT YOU DID NOT TAKE ACTION ON!
Then, sit with each one, and ask yourself if it is something that you would still enjoy doing! Notice that I did say to ask yourself if it is something that you “should do because it makes money”! Forget the money….Get back in touch with what you LOVE! While doing it, you will find a solution to a problem, and in solving that problem, you can make a lot of money! But don’t start with trying to figure out how it will make money! Only ask yourself if you would ENJOY IT! Then, take the first action step, and get the ball rolling!
7. Last, but certainly not least, to increase your feelings of self worth, and reignite your self love, get your list of things you like about yourself from the assignment in number five, go to the privacy of your own bedroom, get naked, and stand in front of your mirror, read that list aloud to yourself, and give yourself verbal appreciation, saying “I love you, Self!” Over and over and over, until the silliness and negativity of doing this dissipates! Do it every day for at least 30 days in a row! At first, you may hate doing this, but keep it up: Eventually you will feel that it’s true, and will be smiling ear to ear! If you need to, even get your list of items that you are in process of trying to accept and embrace about yourself from assignment number one above, and say those things aloud to yourself, too! Don’t be shy about it: You’re alone!
And before you know it, you will have transformed your feelings about yourself, and you will LOVE YOURSELF!!
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