By Janeen J. Detrick
The thought processes that keep us attached to what someone else thinks about us are largely rooted in three different mistaken beliefs:
1. “I am responsible for other people’s responses, and they are responsible for mine; They shouldn’t hurt my feelings!”
The fact is, no one can MAKE YOU feel a certain way! The energy of your response was inside YOU, so therefore they didn’t do anything to you, except serve you to show you where you have a hook! If someone goes fishing to try to provoke you, it won’t reel you in to if it’s not already energy that lived inside you; You can’t get “hooked”, or stirred up inside, if you have no energy inside yourself on that issue! So, what your response indicates is that…..YOU have strong energy inside of you about that issue. In some instances, it may even show you that YOU AGREE WITH THEM about yourself, and THAT is the reason it bugs you, whatever they said or think about you. For example, “You are so lazy!” may be an accusation someone makes. If you hate laziness and have been secretly beating up on yourself inside for little procrastination tendencies, you may get “hooked” by that accusation. You see, you have energy on the issue of laziness inside you. If you agree with a criticism about yourself, but you don’t frame that item they criticized as being a bad attribute, then that won’t bother you. For example, I have skinny, crooked legs. Really! I used to be extremely knocked kneed, but through energy medicine and structural integration, I’ve been straightening my legs! But since I’ve accepted myself, and love my legs even though they are funny looking, if someone came up to me and said, “Gee…You have funny looking legs!” I may chuckle about their boldness to be so rude, but it wouldn’t actually hurt my feelings! I would likely say, “Yes! You are right! It’s called congenital hip dysplasia, and it’s a genetic stamp that my dad is my dad!” But it definitely wouldn’t hurt my feelings…and then, it would be over, and we’d carry on in whatever we were doing! Just like that. Why? Because I don’t feel that my funny looking legs are a bad thing! It’s just a fact! Get it? It can’t hook me, because I am at peace with that issue about myself.
2. “I want them to approve of me.” You think that if they don’t approve of you, it says something bad about you! But it doesn’t at all! It says a lot about THEM, and nothing at all about you!
If you are needing exterior validation, it means you aren’t spending enough thought energy in validating YOURSELF! Pat yourself on the back! If someone can’t love you, it says way more about THEM than it does about you!
However, if you are attracting
people who reject you, why? You can only
attract them, because they mirror how you are thinking and feeling about yourself! Love and appreciate your good qualities and accept the weaknesses you have. Just own them, and decide that they are okay! You know you are in process, and are working on them, so give yourself a break! Love yourself even though you have weaknesses, and then guess what will happen? OTHER PEOPLE WILL LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE THOSE WEAKNESSES, TOO!
3. If you just can’t seem to get over that they don’t want you, it is because you are having a limiting belief regarding supply.
You are thinking, “That’s the only one (like her, or it, if it’s a job situation) there is, and now I’ve lost him!”
There are six billion people on the planet, and a lid for every pot! Do you think that energy that we call god doesn’t know exactly who you are and what you want and need? Of course “He” does! And there are actually many many people who can be your “soul mate”, not just one! It’s all about unattaching from thinking it has to be a certain way, and allowing the divine to bring to you everything you are hoping for, or maybe even something better! You have been thinking that “he” was the best you could get, and the fact is, if he were so wonderful, he would have recognized how wonderful YOU WERE! What you loved about him is actually just YOUR ILLUSION of him; If he had really been so great, he wouldn’t have bailed! He wasn’t as evolved as you thought…..you were in love with an illusion…..That’s all! Not with the real him, but with what you thought about him!
So, now…Make a list of 50 qualities you like about yourself, and start loving yourself, so you attract people who also LOVE YOU!
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